All Lyrics - TTPD

I was supposed to be sent away
But they forgot to come and get me
I was a functioning alcoholic
'Til nobody noticed my new aesthetic
All of this to say I hope you're okay
But you're the reason
And no one here's to blame
But what about your quiet treason?
And for a fortnight there, we were forever
Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather
Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors
Your wife waters flowers,
All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February
I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary
And I love you, it's ruining my life
I love you, it's ruining my life
I touched you for only a fortnight
I touched you, but I touched you
And for a fortnight there, we were forever
Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather
Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors
Your wife waters flowers, Im so Jealous
And for a fortnight there, we were together
Run into you sometimes, comment on my sweater
Now you're at the mailbox, turned into good neighbors
My husband is cheating, Im so Jealous
I love you, it's ruining my life
I love you, it's ruining my life
I touched you for only a fortnight
I touched you, I touched you
I love you, it's ruining my life
I love you, it's ruining my life
I touched you for only a fortnight
I touched you, I touched you
Thought of callin' ya, but you won't pick up
'Nother fortnight lost in America
Move to Florida, buy the car you want
But it won't start up 'til you touch, touch, touch me
Thought of calling ya, but you won't pick up
'Nother fortnight lost in America
Move to Florida, buy the car you want
But it won't start up 'til I touch, touch, touch you
FORTNIGHT (FT. POST MALONE)

You left your typewriter at my apartment
Straight from the tortured poets department
I think some things I never say
Like, "Who uses typewriters anyway?"
But you're in self-sabotage mode
Throwing spikes down on the road
But I've seen this episode and still loved the show Who else decodes you?
And who's gonna hold you like me?
And who's gonna know you, if not me?
I laughed in your face and said
"You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith
This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're modern idiots"
And who's gonna hold you like me?
Nobody
No-fucking-body
Nobody
You smoked, then ate seven bars of chocolate We declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist
I scratch your head, you fall asleep
Like a tattooed golden retriever
But you awaken with dread
Pounding nails in your head
But I've read this one where you come undone
I chose this cyclone with you
And who's gonna hold you like me?
(Who's gonna hold you? Who's gonna hold you?)
And who's gonna know you like me?
(Who's gonna know you?)
I laughed in your face and said
"You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith
This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're modern idiots"
And who's gonna hold you like me?
(Who's gonna hold you? Who's gonna hold you?)
No-fucking-body
(Who's gonna hold you? Who's gonna hold you?)
Nobody
(Who's gonna hold you? Gonna know you? Gonna troll you?)
Nobody
Sometimes, I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me
But you told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave
And I had said that to Jack about you, so I felt seen
Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be
'Cause we're crazy
So tell me, who else is gonna know me?
At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger
And put it on the one people put wedding rings on
And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding
Who's gonna hold you? (Who?) Me Who's gonna know you? (Who?) Me
And you're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith
This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're two idiots
Who's gonna hold you? (x8)
Gonna know you? Gonna troll you?
You left your typewriter at my apartment
Straight from the tortured poets department Who else decodes you?
THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT
Oh, here we go again.
The voices in his head
Called the rain to end our days of wild
The sickest army doll
Purchased at the mall
Rivulets descend my plastic smile
But you should've seen him
When he first got me
My boy only breaks his favorite toys
I'm queen of sand castles he destroys
Cause it fit too right
Puzzle pieces in the dead of night
Should've known it was a matter of time
Oh, my boy only breaks his favorite toys
There was a litany of reasons why
We could've played for keeps this time
I know I'm just repeating myself
Put me back on my shelf
But first - Pull the string
And I'll tell you that he runs
Because he loves me.
Cause you should've seen him
When he first saw me.
My boy only breaks his favorite toys
I'm queen of sand castles he destroys
Cause I knew too much
There was danger in the heat of my touch
He saw forever so he smashed it up
Oh, my boy only breaks his favorite toys
Once I fix me, he's gonna miss me
Once I fix me, he's gonna miss me
Just say when, I'd play again
He was my best friend
Down at the sandlot
I felt more when we played pretend
Than with all the Kens
Cause he took me out of my box
Stole my tortured heart
Left all these broken parts
Told me I'm better off
But I'm not
I'm not
I'm not.
MY BOY ONLY BREAKS HIS FAVOURITE TOYS
s. I might just not get up I might stay down bad Like I lost my twin What if I can't have him Down bad (x2) Waving at the ship What if I can't have him Like I lost my twin What if I can't have him Down bad Waving at the ship What if I can't have him
I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist
I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift
Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away
My spine split from carrying us up the hill
Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill
I stopped trying to make him laugh
Stopped trying to drill the safe
Thinkin, how much sad did you think I had
Did you think I had in me?
Oh, the tragedy ...
So long, London
You'll find someone ...
I didn't opt in to be your odd man out
I founded the club she's heard great things about
I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath
I stopped CPR, after all it's no use
The spirit was gone, we would never come to
And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free
For so long, London
Stitches undone
Two graves, one gun
I'll find someone ...
And you say I abandoned the ship
But I was going down with it
My white knuckle dying grip
Holding tight to your quiet resentment and
My friends said it isn't right to be scared
Every day of a love affair
Every breath feels like rarest air When you're not sure if he wants to be there
So how much sad did you think I had,
Did you think I had in me?
How much tragedy?
Just how low did you think I'd go?
Before I'd self-implode
Before I'd have to go be free
You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?
I died on the altar waiting for the proof
You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days
And I'm just getting color back into my face
I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place
For so long, London
Had a good run
A moment of warm sun
But I'm not the one
So long, London
Stitches undone
Two graves, one gun
You'll find someone ...
SO LONG, LONDON
05
BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM
06
I forget how the West was won
I forget if this was ever fun
I just learned these people only raise you to cage you Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best Clutching their pearls, sighing "What a mess"
I just learned these people try and save you
... cause they hate you
Too high a horse
For a simple girl to rise above it They slammed the door on my whole world The one thing I wanted
Now I'm running with my dress unbuttoned Screaming "But Daddy I love him!"
I'm having his baby No, I'm not, but you should see your faces
I'm telling him to floor it through the fences No, I'm not coming to my senses
I know he's crazy but he's the one I want
Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid Tendrils tucked into a woven braid Growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all He was chaos, he was revelry Bedroom eyes like a remedy Soon enough the elders had convened Down at the city hall
"Stay away from her" The saboteurs protested too much
Lord knows the words we never heard
Just screeching tires and true love
And now I'm running with my dress unbuttoned Screaming "But Daddy I love him!"
I'm having his baby No, I'm not, but you should see your faces
I'm telling him to floor it through the fences No, I'm not coming to my senses
I know he's crazy but he's the one I want
I'll tell you something right now
I'd rather burn my whole life down Than listen to one more second of all this griping and moaning
I'll tell you something about my good name
It's mine alone to disgrace
I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing
God save the most judgmental creeps Who say they want what's best for me Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see Thinking it can change the beat Of my heart when he touches me And counteract the chemistry And undo the destiny
You ain't gotta pray for me Me and my wild boy And all this wild joy
If all you want is gray for me Then it's just white noise And it's just my choice
There's a lot of people in town that I Bestow upon my fakest smiles Scandal does funny things to pride But brings lovers closer We came back when the heat died down Went to my parents and they came around All the wine moms are still holding out But it's over.
Now I'm dancing in my dress in the sun and
Even my daddy just loves him
I'm his lady, and oh my God
You should see your faces Time, doesn't it give some perspective No, you can't come to the wedding
I know he's crazy but he's the one I want
I'll tell you something right now you ain't gotta pray for me Me and my wild boy and all of this wild joy
He was chaos, he was revelry
If all you want is gray for me Then it's just white noise, and it's my choice
Screaming "But Daddy I love him!"
I'm having his baby No, I'm not! But you – Should see your faces But oh my God you should see your faces
Now, pretty baby, I'm running back home to you
Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to
(Fresh out the slammer, oh)
Another summer taking cover, rolling thunder
He don't understand me
Splintered back in winter, silent dinners, bitter
He was with her in dreams
Gray and blue and fights and tunnels
Handcuffed to the spell I was under
For just one hour of sunshine
Years of labor, locks and ceilings
In the shade of how he was feeling
But it's gonna be alright, I did my time
Now pretty baby, I'm running back home to you
Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to
(Fresh out the slammer, oh)
Camera flashes, welcome bashes
Get the matches, toss the ashes off the ledge
As I said in my letters, now that I know better
I will never lose my baby again
My friends tried, but I wouldn't hear it
Watch me daily disappearing
For just one glimpse of his smile
All those nights you kept me going
Swirled you into all of my poems
Now we're at the starting line, I did my time
Now, pretty baby, I'm running
To the house where you still wait up, and that porch light gleams
To the one who says I'm the girl of his American dreams
And no matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway
Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up now that I know what's at stake
Here, at the park where we used to sit on children's swings
Wearing imaginary rings
But it's gonna be alright, I did my time
FRESH OUT OF THE SLAMMER
07
FLORIDA!!! (FT. FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE)
08
You can beat the heat if you beat the charges too
They said I was a cheat, I guess it must be true
And my friends all smell like weed or little babies
And this city reeks of driving myself crazy
Little did you know
Your home's really only a town you're just a guest in
So you work your life away
Just to pay for a timeshare down in Destin
Florida is one hell of a drug
Florida, can I use you up?
The hurricane with my name when it came
I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away
Barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine Well, me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time
Yes, I'm haunted but I'm feeling just fine
All my girls got their lace and their crimes
And your cheating husband disappeared
Well, no one asks any questions here
So I did my best to lay to rest
All of the bodies that have ever been on my body
And in my mind, they sink into the swamp
Is that a bad thing to say in a song?
Little did you know
Your home's really only the town you'll get arrested
So you pack your life away
Just to wait out the shitstorm back in Texas
Florida is one hell of a drug
Florida, can I use you up?
I need to forget, so take me to Florida
I've got some regrets, I'll bury them in Florida
Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable
At least the dolls are beautiful, fuck me up, Florida
I need to forget, so take me to Florida
I've got some regrets, I'll bury them in Florida
Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable What a crash, what a rush, fuck me up, Florida
It's one hell of a drug
It's one hell of a drug
Love left me like this and I don't want to exist
So take me to Florida
Little did you know
Your home's really only a town you're just a guest in (take me to Florida)
So you work your life away
Just to pay for a timeshare down in Destin (take me to Florida)
Little did you know
Your home's really only the town you'll get arrested (take me to Florida)
So you pack your life away
Just to wait out the shitstorm back in Texas (take me to)
Florida is one hell of a drug (take me to)
Florida, can I use you up?
Florida is one hell of a drug
Florida, go on, fuck me up
Gs' I hadn't heard it in a while My boredom's bone deep This cage was once just fine Am I allowed to cry? I dream of cracking locks
T
ho
x I'm seeing visions, am I b
adie I keep recalling things we ne
v? I keep these longings locked In lowercase inside a vault Someone told me
T
ha
d If it's make believe
We I've screamed his name Building up like waves Crashing over my grave
Wit
hm
e Is actually what's holy? If long suffering propriety Is what they want from me
T
ht
s' I hadn't heard it in a while Am I allowed to cry?
WHO’S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME?
10
… The who's who of "Who's that?" is poised for the attack
But my bare hands paved their paths
You don't get to tell me about sad
… If you wanted me dead, you should've just said
Nothing makes me feel more alive
… So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street
Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream
"Who's afraid of little old me?"
You should be
… The scandal was contained
The bullet had just grazed
At all costs, keep your good name
You don't get to tell me you feel bad
… Is it a wonder I broke? Let's hear one more joke
Then we could all just laugh until I cry
… So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street
Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream
"Who's afraid of little old me?"
I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean
"Don't you worry, folks, we took out all her teeth" Who's afraid of little old me?
Well, you should be
… You should be
(You should be) You should be
You should be (you should be)
You should be (you should be)
You should be
… So tell me everything is not about me
But what if it is?
Then say they didn't do it to hurt me
But what if they did?
… I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me
You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
So all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs
I'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?
That I'll sue you if you step on my lawn
That I'm fearsome and I'm wretched and I'm wrong
Putting narcotics into all of my songs
And that's why you're still singing along
… So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street
Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream
"Who's afraid of little old me?"
I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean
"Don't you worry, folks, we took out all her teeth" Who's afraid of little old me?
Well, you should be
… You should be
(You should be) You should be
'Cause you lured me (you should be)
And you hurt me (you should be)
And you taught me
… You caged me and then you called me crazy
I am what I am 'cause you trained me
So who's afraid of me?
Who's afraid of little old me?
Who's afraid of little old me?
…
The smoke cloud billows out his mouth
Like a freight train through a small town
The jokes that he told across the bar
Were revolting and far too loud
They shake their heads saying, "God, help her"
When I tell them he's my man
But your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger
I can fix him, no, really I can
And only I can
The dopamine races through his brain
On a six-lane Texas highway
His hand so calloused from his pistol
Softly traces hearts on my face
And I could see it from a mile away
A perfect case for my certain skillset
He had a halo of the highest grade
He just hadn't met me yet
They shake their heads saying, "God, help her"
When I tell them he's my man
But your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger
I can fix him, no, really I can
And only I can
Good boy, that's right
Come close, I'll show you heaven
If you'll be an angel, all mine
Trust me, I can handle me a dangerous man
No, really I can
They shook their heads saying, "God, help her"
When I told them he's my man (I told them he's my
man)
But your good Lord didn't need to lift a finger
I can fix him, no, really I can (no, really I can)
Whoa, maybe I can't
I CAN FIX HIM (NO REALLY I CAN)
11
Le
I can read your mind
"She's having the time of her life"
There in her glittering prime
The lights refract sequined stars off her silhouette every night
I can show you lies (one, two, three, four)
'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit
They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did
Lights, camera, bitch smile, even when you wanna die
He said he'd love me all his life
But that life was too short
Breaking down, I hit the floor
All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, "More"
I was grinning like I'm winning, I was hitting my marks
'Cause I can do it with a broken heart (one, two, three, four)
I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day
I'm so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague
I cry a lot but I am so productive, it's an art
You know you're good when you can even do it
With a broken heart
I can hold my breath
I've been doing it since he left
I keep finding his things in drawers
Crucial evidence, I didn't imagine the whole thing
I'm sure I can pass this test (one, two, three, four)
'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit
They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did
Lights, camera, bitch smile, in stilettos for miles
He said he'd love me for all time
But that time was quite short
Breaking down, I hit the floor
All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, "More"
I was grinning like I'm winning, I was hitting my marks
'Cause I can do it with a broken heart (one, two, three)
I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day
I'm so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague (he avoids me)
I cry a lot but I am so productive, it's an art
You know you're good when you can even do it
With a broken heart
You know you're good when you can even do it
With a broken heart
You know you're good, I'm good
'Cause I'm miserable
And nobody even knows
Try and come for my job
I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART
13
THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED
14
Was any of it true?
Gazing at me starry-eyed
In your Jehovah's Witness suit
Who the fuck was that guy?
You tried to buy some pills
From a friend of friends of mine
They just ghosted you
Now you know what it feels like
And I don't even want you back, I just want to know
If rusting my sparkling summer was the goal
And I don't miss what we had, but could someone give
A message to the smallest man who ever lived?
You hung me on your wall
Stabbed me with your push pins
In public, showed me off
Then sank in stoned oblivion
'Cause once your queen had come
You treat her like an also-ran
You didn't measure up
In any measure of a man
And I don't even want you back, I just want to know
If rusting my sparkling summer was the goal
And I don't miss what we had, but could someone give
A message to the smallest man who ever lived?
Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?
Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?
Were you writing a book? Were you a sleeper cell spy?
In fifty years, will all this be declassified?
And you'll confess why you did it
And I'll say, "Good riddance"
'Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden
I would've died for your sins
Instead, I just died inside
And you deserve prison, but you won't get time
You'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars
You crashed my party and your rental car
You said normal girls were boring
But you were gone by the morning
You kicked out the stage lights
But you're still performing
And in plain sight you hid
But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived
THE ALCHEMY
15
This happens once every few lifetimes
These chemicals hit me like white wine
What if I told you I'm back?
The hospital was a drag Worst sleep that I ever had
I circled you on a map
I haven't come around in so long
But I'm coming back so strong
So when I touch down
Call the amateurs and
Cut 'em from the team
Ditch the clowns, get the crown
Baby I'm the one to beat
Cause the sign on your heart
Said it's still reserved for me
Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?
Hey you, what if I told you we're cool?
That child's play back in school
Is forgiven under my rule
I haven't come around in so long
But I'm making a comeback to where I belong ...
So when I touch down
Call the amateurs and
Cut 'em from the team
Ditch the clowns, get the crown
Baby I'm the one to beat
Cause the sign on your heart
Said it's still reserved for me
Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?
These blokes warm the benches We been on a winning streak
He jokes that it's heroin but this time with an "E"
Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me
Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?
Shirts off, and your friends lift you up over their heads
Beer sticking to the floor
Cheers chanted, cause they said
There was no chance, trying to be
The greatest in the league Where's the trophy?
He just comes running over to me
ouch down
Call the amateurs and
Cut 'em from the team
Ditch the clowns, get the crown
Baby I'm the one to beat
Cause the sign on your heart
Said it's still reserved for me
Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?
These blokes warm the benches We been on a winning streak
He jokes that it's heroin but this time with an "E"
Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me
Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?
This happens once every few lifetimes
These chemicals hit me like white wine
CLARA BOW
16
"You look like Clara Bow in this light
Remarkable
All your life, did you know
You'd be picked like a rose"
"I'm not trying to exaggerate
But I think I might die if it happened
Die if it happened to me
No one in my small town thought
I'd see the lights of Manhattan"
"This town is fake but
You're the real thing
Breath of fresh air through smoke rings
Take the glory, give everything
Promise to be dazzling"
"You look like Stevie Nicks
In '75, the hair and lips
Crowd goes wild at her fingertips
Half moonshine, a full eclipse"
"I'm not trying to exaggerate
But I think I might die if I made it,
Die if I made it
No one in my small town
Thought I'd meet these suits in LA,
They all want to say ..."
"This town is fake but
You're the real thing
Breath of fresh air through smoke rings
Take the glory, give everything
Promise to be dazzling"
"The crown is stained but you're the real queen
Flesh and blood amongst war machines
You're the new god we're worshipping
Promise to be ... dazzling"
Beauty is a beast that roars
Down on all fours
Demanding "more"
Only when your girlish glow
Flickers just so
Do they let you know
It's hell on earth to be heavenly
Them's the breaks
They don't come gently
"You look like Taylor Swift
In this light We're loving it.
You've got edge she never did
The future's bright
... Dazzling."
I am someone who, until recent events
You shared your secrets with
And your location
You forgot to turn it off
And so I watch as you walk
Into some bar called The Black Dog
And pierce new holes in my heart
You forgot to turn it off
And it hits me
I just don't understand
How you don't miss me
In The Black Dog
When someone plays The Starting Line and you jump up
But she's too young to know this song
That was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming
Old habits die screaming
I move through the world with the heartbroken
My longings stay unspoken
And I may never open up the way I did for you
And all of those best laid plans
You said I needed a brave man
Then proceeded to play him
Until I believed it too
And it kills me
I just don't understand
How you don't miss me
In the shower
And remember
How my rain-soaked body was shaking
Do you hate me?
Was it hazing?
For a cruel fraternity I pledged
And I still mean it
Old habits die screaming
Six weeks of breathing clean air
I still miss the smoke Were you making fun of me with some esoteric joke?
Now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes
And hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons
Even if I die screaming
And I hope you hear it
And I hope it's shitty
In The Black Dog
When someone plays The Starting Line and you jump up
But she's too young to know this song
That was intertwined in the tragic fabric of our dreaming
'Cause tail between your legs, you're leaving
I still can't believe it
'Cause old habits die screaming
THE BLACK DOG
17
IMGONNAGETYOUBACK
18
Lilac short skirt
The one that fits me like skin Did your research
You knew the price goin' in
And I'll tell you one thing, honey
I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean
Standing at the bar like something's funny, bubbly Once you fix your face, I'm goin' in
Whether I'm gonna be your wife or Gonna smash up your bike, I Haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back
Whether I'm gonna curse you out or
Take you back to my house, I Haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back
I, I hear the whispers in your eyes
I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine
You're mine
Small talk, big love Act like I don't care what you did
I'm an Aston Martin
That you steered straight into the ditch
Then ran and hid
And I'll tell you one thing, honey
I can take the upper hand and touch your body
Flip the script and leave you like a dumb house party Or I might just love you 'til the end
Whether I'm gonna be your wife or Gonna smash up your bike, I Haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back
Whether I'm gonna flip you off or
Pull you into the closet
I haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back
I, I hear the whispers in your eyes
I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine
You're mine
I can feel it comin', hummin' in the way you move
Push the reset button, we're becoming something new
Say you got somebody, I'll say, "I got someone too"
Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leaving here with you
Bygones will be bygone eras fadin' into gray (fadin' into gray) We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game (oh)
Told my friends, "I hate you but I love you just the same"
Pick your poison, babe
I'm poison either way
Whether I'm gonna be your wife or Gonna smash up your bike, I Haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back
Whether I'm gonna curse you out or
Take you back to my house, I Haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back
I, I hear the whispers in your eyes
I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine
I'm gonna get you back
T
H
E
Ae I'm the albatross I swept in at the rescue The devil that you know
L
oCHLOE OR SAM OR SOPHIA OR MARCUS
20
Your hologram stumbled into my apartment
Hands in the hair of somebody in darkness named Chloe or Sam or Sophia
or Marcus
And I just watched it happen
As the decade would play us for fools
And you saw my bones out with somebody new Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school
And you just watched it happen
If you want to break my cold, cold heart
Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'
If you want to tear my world apart
Just say you've always wondered
You said some things that I can't unabsorb
You turned me into an idea of sorts
You needed me but you needed drugs more
And I couldn't watch it happen
I changed into goddesses, villains and fools
Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules
All to outrun my desertion of you
And you just watched it
If you want to break my cold, cold heart
Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'
If you want to tear my world apart
Just say you've always wondered
If the glint in my eye traced the depths of your sigh
Down that passage in time
Back to the moment I crashed into you
Like so many wrecks do
Too impaired by my youth
To know what to do
So if I sell my apartment
And you have some kids with an internet starlet
Will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon
like it never happened
Could it be enough to just float in your orbit
Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses
Cooler in theory but not if you force it
To be, it just didn't happen
So if you want to break my cold, cold heart
Say you loved me
And if you want to tear my world apart
Say you'll always wonder
Cause I wonder Will I always Will I always wonder?
HOW DID IT END?
21
We hereby conduct this post-mortem
He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsmen
Our maladies were such we could not cure them
And so a touch that was my birthright became foreign
Come one, come all
It's happenin' again
The empathetic hunger descends We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends We must know
How did it end?
(Uh-oh)
(Uh-oh-oh-oh)
We were blind to unforeseen circumstances We learn the right steps to different dances (ohh)
And fell victim to interlopers' glances
Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?
Soon they'll go home to their husbands
Smug 'cause they know they can trust him
Then feverishly calling their cousins (ohh)
Guess who we ran into at the shops?
Walking in circles like she was lost
Didn't you hear?
They called it all off
One gasp and then
How did it end?
Say it once again with feeling
How the death rattle breathing
Silenced as the soul was leaving
The deflation of our dreaming
Leaving me bereft and reeling
My beloved ghost and me
Sitting in a tree
D-Y-I-N-G
It's happenin' again
How did it end?
I can't pretend like I understand
How did it end?
Come one, come all
It's happening again
The empathetic hunger descends We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends
But I still don't know
How did it end?
SO HIGH SCHOOL
22
I feel so high school every time I look at you
I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you
And in a blink of a crinkling eye
I'm sinking, our fingers entwined
Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights
Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me
I'll drink what you think, and I'm high
From smoking your jokes all damn night
The brink of a wrinkle in time
Bittersweet sixteen suddenly
I'm watching American Pie with you on a Saturday night
Your friends are around, so be quiet
I'm trying to stifle my sighs
'Cause I feel so high school every time I look at you
But look at you
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me? (Kill me)
It's just a game, but really (really)
I'm bettin' on all three for us two (all three)
Get my car door, isn't that sweet? (That sweet)
Then pull me to the backseat (backseat)
No one's ever had me (had me), not like you
Truth, dare, spin bottles
You know how to ball, I know Aristotle
Brand new, full-throttle
Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto
It's true, swear, scouts honor
You knew what you wanted and boy, you got her
Brand new, full-throttle
You already know, babe
I feel like laughing in the middle of practice
Do that impression you did of your dad again
I'm hearing voices like a madman
And in a blink of a crinkling eye
I'm sinking, our fingers entwined
Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights
Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me
I'll drink what you think, and I'm high
From smoking your jokes all damn night
The brink of a wrinkle in time
Bittersweet sixteen suddenly
I'm watching American Pie with you on a Saturday night
Your friends are around, so be quiet
I'm trying to stifle my sighs
'Cause I feel so high school (I feel so high school)
Every time I look at you
But look at you
Truth, dare, spin bottles (yeah)
You know how to ball, I know Aristotle
Brand new, full-throttle (yeah)
Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto
It's true, swear, scouts honor (yeah)
You knew what you wanted and boy, you got her
Brand new, full-throttle (yeah)
You already know, babe
You already know, babe
I HATE IT HERE
23
Quick, quick
Tell me something awful
Like you are a poet trapped inside the body of a finance guy
Tell me all your secrets
All you'll ever be is My eternal consolation prize
You see I was a debutant in another life but
Now I seem to be scared to go outside
If comfort is a construct
I don't believe in good luck
Now that I know what's what
I hate it here so I will go to
secret gardens in my mind
People need a key to get to
The only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child
No mid-sized city hopes and small town fears
I'm there most of the year
Cause I hate it here
I hate it here My friends used to play a game where We would pick a decade We wished we could live in instead of this
I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists and getting married off for
the highest bid
Everyone would look down
Cause it wasn't fun now
Seems like it was never even fun back then
Nostalgia is a mind's trick
If I'd been there, I'd hate it
It was freezing in the palace
I hate it here so I will go to
Lunar valleys in my mind
When they found a better planet
Only the gentle survived
I dreamed about it in the dark
The night I felt like I might die
No mid-sized city hopes and small town fears
I'm there most of the year
Cause I hate it here
I hate it here
I'm lonely but I'm good
I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine
I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on
purpose
This place made me feel worthless
Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me,
and in my fantasies I rise above it
And way up there, I actually love it
I hate it here so I will go to
Secret gardens in my mind
People need a key to get to
The only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child
No mid-sized city hopes and small town fears
I'm there most of the year
Cause I hate it here
I hate it here
Quick quick
Tell me something awful
Like you are a poet trapped inside the body of a finance guy
THANK YOU AIMEE
24
When I picture my hometown
There's a bronze spray-tanned statue of you
And a plaque underneath it
That threatens to push me down the stairs at our school
And it was always the same searing pain
But I dreamed that one day, I could say
All that time you were throwing punches
I was building something
And I can't forgive the way you made me feel
Screamed, "Fuck you, Aimee" to the night sky
As the blood was gushing
But I can't forget the way you made me heal
And it wasn't a fair fight, or a clean kill
Each time that Aimee stomped across my grave
And then she wrote headlines in the local paper
Laughing at each baby step I'd take
And it was always the same searing pain
But I prayed that one day, I could say
All that time you were throwing punches
I was building something
And I couldn't wait to show you it was real
Screamed, "Fuck you, Aimee" to the night sky
As the blood was gushing
But I can't forget the way you made me heal
Everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman
But she used to say she wished that you were dead
I pushed each boulder up the hill
Your words are still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head
I wrote a thousand songs that you find uncool
I built a legacy that you can't undo
But when I count the scars, there's a moment of truth
That there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you
And maybe you've reframed it
And in your mind, you never beat my spirit black and blue
I don't think you've changed much
And so I changed your name and any real defining clues
And one day, your kid comes home singing
A song that only us two is gonna know is about you 'cause
All that time you were throwing punches
It was all for nothing
And our town, it looks so small from way up here
Screamed, "Thank you, Aimee" to the night sky
And the stars are stunning
'Cause I can't forget the way you made me heal
Everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman
But she used to say she wished that you were dead
So I pushed each boulder up that hill
Your words were still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head
Thank you, Aimee
Thank you, Aimee
I had died the tiniest death
I spied the catch in your breath
Out, out, out, out, out, out
North bound I got carried away
As you boarded your train
South, south, south, south, south, south
A feather taken by the wind blowing
I'm afflicted by the not knowing so
I look in people's windows
Transfixed by rose golden glows
They have their friends over to drink nice wine
I look in people's windows
In case you're at their table
What if your eyes looked up and met mine
One more time
You had stopped and tilted your head
I still ponder what it meant now, now
Now, now, now, now
I tried searching faces on streets
What are the chances you'd be downtown
Downtown, downtown
Does it feel alright to not know me?
I'm addicted to the 'if only'
So I look in people's windows
Like I'm some deranged weirdo
I attend Christmas parties from outside
I look in people's windows
In case you're at their table
What if your eyes looked up and met mine
One more time
I LOOK IN PEOPLE’S WINDOWS
25
TTRACKLIST
I was in my new house placing daydreams
Patching up the crack along the wall
I pass it and lose track of what I'm saying
'Cause that's where I was when I got the call
When the first stone's thrown, there's screaming
In the streets, there's a raging riot When it's "Burn the bitch, " they're shrieking When the truth comes out, it's quiet
So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So, they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say
Do you believe me now?
I was in my tower weaving nightmares
Twisting all my smiles into snarls
They say, "What doesn't kill you makes you aware" What happens if it becomes who you are?
So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So, they set my life in flames, I regret to say
Do you believe me now?
They knew, they knew, they knew the whole time
That I was onto something
The family, the pure greed, the Christian chorus line
They all said nothing
Blood's thick but nothing like a payroll
Bet they never spared a prayer for my soul
You can mark my words that I said it first
In a morning warning, no one heard
I patched up the crack along the wall
I pass it and lose track of what I'm saying
'Cause that's where I was when I lost it all
So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So, they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say
Do you believe me now?
Ahh-ahh
I was onto something
Ahh-ahh
They all said nothing
Blood's thick but nothing like a payroll
Bet they never spared a prayer for my soul
You can mark my words that I said it first
In a morning warning, no one heard
No one heard
Not a single word was heard
When the first stone's thrown, there's screaming
In the streets, there's a raging riot When it's "Burn the bitch, " they're shrieking When the truth comes out, it's quiet
It's so quiet
CASSANDRA
27

Fortnight (ft. Post Malone)

The Tortured Poets Department

The Black Dog

Imgonnagetyouback

My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys 19 The Albatross

Down Bad

So Long, London
But Daddy I Love Him

Fresh Out the Slammer

Florida!!! (ft. Florence and the Machine)

Guilty as Sin?

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?
I can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

Loml

I Can Do It with a Broken Heart

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

The Alchemy
Clara Bow

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

How Did It End?
So High School

I Hate It Here
Thank You Aimee
I Look in People’s Windows

The Prophecy

Cassandra

Peter
The Bolter

Robin
The Manuscript
FORTNIGHT (FT. POST MALONE)

I was supposed to be sent away But they forgot to come and get me I was a functioning alcoholic
'Til nobody noticed my new aesthetic All of this to say I hope you're okay But you're the reason
And no one here's to blame But what about your quiet treason?

And for a fortnight there, we were forever Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather
Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her

All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary And I love you, it's ruining my life
I love you, it's ruining my life
I touched you for only a fortnight I touched you, but I touched you

And for a fortnight there, we were forever Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather
Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her
And for a fortnight there, we were together Run into you sometimes, comment on my sweater
Now you're at the mailbox, turned into good neighbors My husband is cheating, I wanna kill him

I love you, it's ruining my life I love you, it's ruining my life
I touched you for only a fortnight I touched you, I touched you
I love you, it's ruining my life I love you, it's ruining my life
I touched you for only a fortnight I touched you, I touched you

Thought of callin' ya, but you won't pick up 'Nother fortnight lost in America
Move to Florida, buy the car you want
But it won't start up 'til you touch, touch, touch me Thought of calling ya, but you won't pick up 'Nother fortnight lost in America
Move to Florida, buy the car you want
But it won't start up 'til I touch, touch, touch you
THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT
You left your typewriter at my apartment Straight from the tortured poets department I think some things I never say
Like, "Who uses typewriters anyway?" But you're in self-sabotage mode Throwing spikes down on the road
But I've seen this episode and still loved the show Who else decodes you?
And who's gonna hold you like me? And who's gonna know you, if not me?
I laughed in your face and said "You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith
This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're modern idiots" And who's gonna hold you like me?
Nobody
No-fucking-body Nobody
You smoked, then ate seven bars of chocolate We declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist
I scratch your head, you fall asleep Like a tattooed golden retriever But you awaken with dread Pounding nails in your head
But I've read this one where you come undone I chose this cyclone with you
And who's gonna hold you like me? (Who's gonna hold you? Who's gonna hold you?)
And who's gonna know you like me? (Who's gonna know you?)
I laughed in your face and said "You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith
This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're modern idiots" And who's gonna hold you like me?
(Who's gonna hold you? Who's gonna hold you?)
No-fucking-body
(Who's gonna hold you? Who's gonna hold you?)
Nobody
(Who's gonna hold you? Gonna know you? Gonna troll you?) Nobody
Sometimes, I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me But you told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave
And I had said that to Jack about you, so I felt seen Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be 'Cause we're crazy
So tell me, who else is gonna know me?
At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger And put it on the one people put wedding rings on
And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding
Who's gonna hold you? (Who?) Me
Who's gonna know you? (Who?) Me
And you're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're two idiots
Who's gonna hold you? (x8) Gonna know you? Gonna troll you?
You left your typewriter at my apartment Straight from the tortured poets department Who else decodes you?
MY BOY ONLY BREAKS HIS FAVOURITE TOYS

Oh, here we go again. The voices in his head
Called the rain to end our days of wild The sickest army doll Purchased at the mall
Rivulets descend my plastic smile But you should've seen him When he first got me

My boy only breaks his favorite toys I'm queen of sand castles he destroys Cause it fit too right
Puzzle pieces in the dead of night Should've known it was a matter of time Oh, my boy only breaks his favorite toys

There was a litany of reasons why We could've played for keeps this time
I know I'm just repeating myself Put me back on my shelf But first - Pull the string
And I'll tell you that he runs Because he loves me.
Cause you should've seen him When he first saw me.

My boy only breaks his favorite toys I'm queen of sand castles he destroys Cause I knew too much
There was danger in the heat of my touch He saw forever so he smashed it up
Oh, my boy only breaks his favorite toys

Once I fix me, he's gonna miss me Once I fix me, he's gonna miss me

Just say when, I'd play again He was my best friend Down at the sandlot
I felt more when we played pretend Than with all the Kens
Cause he took me out of my box Stole my tortured heart
Left all these broken parts Told me I'm better off
But I'm not I'm not I'm not.
D0WN BAD
Did you really beam me up? In a cloud of sparkling dust Just to do experiments on Tell me I was the chosen one
Show me that this world is bigger than us Then sent me back where I came from For a moment I knew cosmic love

Now I'm down bad crying at the gym Everything comes out teenage petulance "What if I can't have him"
"I might just die, it would make no difference." Down bad, waking up in blood
Staring at the sky, come back and pick me up What if I can't have us.
I might just not get up I might stay down bad

What if I can't have him Down bad
What if I can't have him

Did you take all my old clothes?
Just to leave me here naked and alone In a field in my same old town
That somehow seems so hollow now
They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about the existence of you For a moment I was heaven struck

Now I'm down bad crying at the gym Everything comes out teenage petulance "What if I can't have him"
"I might just die, it would make no difference." Down bad, waking up in blood
Staring at the sky, come back and pick me up What if I can't have us.
I might just not get up I might stay down bad

Like I lost my twin What if I can't have him Down bad (x2)
Waving at the ship What if I can't have him

I loved your hostile takeovers Encounters closer and closer All your indecent exposures How dare you say that it's -
I'll build you a fort on some planet Where they can all understand it How dare you think it's romantic Leaving me safe and stranded Cause what if I was in love
What if I can't have us. Cause what if I was in love

Now I'm down bad crying at the gym Everything comes out teenage petulance "What if I can't have him"
"I might just die, it would make no difference." Down bad, waking up in blood
Staring at the sky, come back and pick me up What if I can't have us.
I might just not get up I might stay down bad

Like I lost my twin What if I can't have him Down bad (x2)
Waving at the ship What if I can't have him

Like I lost my twin What if I can't have him Down bad
Waving at the ship What if I can't have him
SO LONG, LONDON
I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift
Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away My spine split from carrying us up the hill
Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill I stopped trying to make him laugh
Stopped trying to drill the safe Thinkin, how much sad did you think I had
Did you think I had in me?
Oh, the tragedy ...

So long, London You'll find someone ...

I didn't opt in to be your odd man out
I founded the club she's heard great things about
I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath I stopped CPR, after all it's no use
The spirit was gone, we would never come to
And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free

For so long, London Stitches undone Two graves, one gun I'll find someone ...

And you say I abandoned the ship But I was going down with it My white knuckle dying grip
Holding tight to your quiet resentment and My friends said it isn't right to be scared Every day of a love affair
Every breath feels like rarest air When you're not sure if he wants to be there
So how much sad did you think I had, Did you think I had in me?
How much tragedy?
Just how low did you think I'd go?
Before I'd self-implode Before I'd have to go be free

You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?
I died on the altar waiting for the proof
You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days And I'm just getting color back into my face I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place

For so long, London Had a good run
A moment of warm sun But I'm not the one
So long, London Stitches undone Two graves, one gun
You'll find someone ...
BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

I forget how the West was won I forget if this was ever fun
I just learned these people only raise you to cage you Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best
Clutching their pearls, sighing "What a mess" I just learned these people try and save you
... cause they hate you
Too high a horse
For a simple girl to rise above it
They slammed the door on my whole world The one thing I wanted
Now I'm running with my dress unbuttoned Screaming "But Daddy I love him!"
I'm having his baby
No, I'm not, but you should see your faces I'm telling him to floor it through the fences No, I'm not coming to my senses
I know he's crazy but he's the one I want
Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid Tendrils tucked into a woven braid
Growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all He was chaos, he was revelry
Bedroom eyes like a remedy Soon enough the elders had convened
Down at the city hall "Stay away from her"
The saboteurs protested too much Lord knows the words we never heard Just screeching tires and true love
And now I'm running with my dress unbuttoned Screaming "But Daddy I love him!"
I'm having his baby
No, I'm not, but you should see your faces I'm telling him to floor it through the fences No, I'm not coming to my senses
I know he's crazy but he's the one I want
I'll tell you something right now I'd rather burn my whole life down
Than listen to one more second of all this griping and moaning I'll tell you something about my good name
It's mine alone to disgrace
I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing
God save the most judgmental creeps Who say they want what's best for me
Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see Thinking it can change the beat
Of my heart when he touches me And counteract the chemistry And undo the destiny
You ain't gotta pray for me Me and my wild boy And all this wild joy
If all you want is gray for me Then it's just white noise And it's just my choice
There's a lot of people in town that I Bestow upon my fakest smiles Scandal does funny things to pride But brings lovers closer
We came back when the heat died down Went to my parents and they came around All the wine moms are still holding out But it's over.
Now I'm dancing in my dress in the sun and Even my daddy just loves him
I'm his lady, and oh my God You should see your faces
Time, doesn't it give some perspective No, you can't come to the wedding
I know he's crazy but he's the one I want
I'll tell you something right now you ain't gotta pray for me Me and my wild boy and all of this wild joy
He was chaos, he was revelry If all you want is gray for me
Then it's just white noise, and it's my choice
Screaming "But Daddy I love him!" I'm having his baby
No, I'm not! But you – Should see your faces
FRESH OUT OF THE SLAMMER

Now, pretty baby, I'm running back home to you Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to
(Fresh out the slammer, oh)

Another summer taking cover, rolling thunder He don't understand me
Splintered back in winter, silent dinners, bitter He was with her in dreams

Gray and blue and fights and tunnels Handcuffed to the spell I was under For just one hour of sunshine
Years of labor, locks and ceilings In the shade of how he was feeling
But it's gonna be alright, I did my time

Now pretty baby, I'm running back home to you Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to
(Fresh out the slammer, oh)

Camera flashes, welcome bashes
Get the matches, toss the ashes off the ledge As I said in my letters, now that I know better I will never lose my baby again

My friends tried, but I wouldn't hear it Watch me daily disappearing
For just one glimpse of his smile All those nights you kept me going Swirled you into all of my poems
Now we're at the starting line, I did my time

Now, pretty baby, I'm running
To the house where you still wait up, and that porch light gleams To the one who says I'm the girl of his American dreams
And no matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up now that I know what's at stake
Here, at the park where we used to sit on children's swings Wearing imaginary rings

But it's gonna be alright, I did my time
FLORIDA!!! (FT. FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE)

You can beat the heat if you beat the charges too They said I was a cheat, I guess it must be true And my friends all smell like weed or little babies And this city reeks of driving myself crazy
Little did you know
Your home's really only a town you're just a guest in So you work your life away
Just to pay for a timeshare down in Destin
Florida is one hell of a drug Florida, can I use you up?
The hurricane with my name when it came I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away
Barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine Well, me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time Yes, I'm haunted but I'm feeling just fine
All my girls got their lace and their crimes And your cheating husband disappeared Well, no one asks any questions here
So I did my best to lay to rest
All of the bodies that have ever been on my body And in my mind, they sink into the swamp
Is that a bad thing to say in a song?
Little did you know
Your home's really only the town you'll get arrested So you pack your life away
Just to wait out the shitstorm back in Texas
Florida is one hell of a drug Florida, can I use you up?
I need to forget, so take me to Florida I've got some regrets, I'll bury them in Florida Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable
At least the dolls are beautiful, fuck me up, Florida I need to forget, so take me to Florida
I've got some regrets, I'll bury them in Florida Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable What a crash, what a rush, fuck me up, Florida
It's one hell of a drug It's one hell of a drug
Love left me like this and I don't want to exist So take me to Florida
Little did you know
Your home's really only a town you're just a guest in (take me to Florida) So you work your life away
Just to pay for a timeshare down in Destin (take me to Florida) Little did you know
Your home's really only the town you'll get arrested (take me to Florida) So you pack your life away
Just to wait out the shitstorm back in Texas (take me to) Florida is one hell of a drug (take me to)
Florida, can I use you up? Florida is one hell of a drug Florida, go on, fuck me up
GUILTY AS SIN?

Drowning in the Blue Nile He sent me 'Downtown Lights'
I hadn't heard it in a while My boredom's bone deep This cage was once just fine Am I allowed to cry?
I dream of cracking locks Throwing my life to the wolves Or the ocean rocks
Crashing into him tonight He's a paradox
I'm seeing visions, am I bad?
Or mad? Or wise?

What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh Only in my mind?
One slip and falling back into the hedge maze Oh what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did Messy top lip kiss
How I long for our trysts Without ever touching his skin How can I be guilty as sin?

I keep these longings locked In lowercase inside a vault Someone told me
There's no such thing as bad thoughts Only your actions talk
These fatal fantasies Giving way to labored breath
Taking all of me
We've already done it in my head If it's make believe
Why does it feel like a vow We'll both uphold somehow?

What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh Only in my mind?
One slip and falling back into the hedge maze Oh what a way to die
My bedsheets are ablaze I've screamed his name Building up like waves Crashing over my grave
Without ever touching his skin How can I be guilty as sin?

What if I roll the stone away? They're gonna crucify me anyway What if the way you hold me
Is actually what's holy? If long suffering propriety Is what they want from me
They don't know how you've haunted me So stunningly
I choose you and me
... Religiously

What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh Only in my mind?
One slip and falling back into the hedge maze Oh what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did Messy top lip kiss
How I long for our trysts Without ever touching his skin How can I be guilty as sin?

He sent me 'Downtown Lights' I hadn't heard it in a while
Am I allowed to cry?
WHO’S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME?
… The who's who of "Who's that?" is poised for the attack But my bare hands paved their paths
You don't get to tell me about sad

… If you wanted me dead, you should've just said Nothing makes me feel more alive

… So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream
"Who's afraid of little old me?" You should be

… The scandal was contained The bullet had just grazed
At all costs, keep your good name You don't get to tell me you feel bad

… Is it a wonder I broke? Let's hear one more joke Then we could all just laugh until I cry
… So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream
"Who's afraid of little old me?"
I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean "Don't you worry, folks, we took out all her teeth"
Who's afraid of little old me?
Well, you should be

… You should be
(You should be) You should be You should be (you should be) You should be (you should be)
You should be …
… So tell me everything is not about me But what if it is?
Then say they didn't do it to hurt me But what if they did?

… I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me So all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs
I'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?
That I'll sue you if you step on my lawn
That I'm fearsome and I'm wretched and I'm wrong Putting narcotics into all of my songs
And that's why you're still singing along

… So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream
"Who's afraid of little old me?"
I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean "Don't you worry, folks, we took out all her teeth"
Who's afraid of little old me?
Well, you should be
… You should be
(You should be) You should be 'Cause you lured me (you should be) And you hurt me (you should be) And you taught me

… You caged me and then you called me crazy I am what I am 'cause you trained me
So who's afraid of me?
Who's afraid of little old me? Who's afraid of little old me?
I CAN FIX HIM (NO REALLY I CAN)
The smoke cloud billows out his mouth Like a freight train through a small town The jokes that he told across the bar Were revolting and far too loud

They shake their heads saying, "God, help her" When I tell them he's my man
But your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger I can fix him, no, really I can
And only I can

The dopamine races through his brain On a six-lane Texas highway
His hand so calloused from his pistol Softly traces hearts on my face

And I could see it from a mile away A perfect case for my certain skillset He had a halo of the highest grade He just hadn't met me yet

They shake their heads saying, "God, help her" When I tell them he's my man
But your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger I can fix him, no, really I can
And only I can

Good boy, that's right Come close, I'll show you heaven
If you'll be an angel, all mine
Trust me, I can handle me a dangerous man No, really I can

They shook their heads saying, "God, help her" When I told them he's my man (I told them he's my man)
But your good Lord didn't need to lift a finger I can fix him, no, really I can (no, really I can) Whoa, maybe I can't
LOML
Who's gonna stop us from waltzing Back into rekindled flames?
If we know the steps anyway We embroidered the memories Of the time I was away
Stitching, "We were just kids, babe" I said, "I don't mind, it takes time"
I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed I felt aglow like this
Never before and never since
If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary You and I go from one kiss to gettin married Still alive, killing time at the cemetery Never quite buried
In your suit and tie, in the nick of time You lowdown boy, you stand up guy Holy Ghost, you told me I'm
The love of your life
You said I'm the love of your life About a million times
Who's gonna tell me the truth When you blew in with the winds of fate
And told me I reformed you
When your impressionist paintings of Heaven Turned out to be fakes
Well, you took me to hell, too And all at once, the ink bleeds
A con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme But I felt a hole like this
Never before, and ever since
If you know it in one glimpse It's legendary
What we thought was for all time Was momentary
Still alive, killing time at the cemetery Never quite buried
You cinephile in black and white All those plot twists and dynamite
Mr. Steal Your Girl, then make her cry You said I'm the love of your life
You talked me under the table Talking rings and talking cradles I wish I could un-recall
How we almost had it all Dancing phantoms on the terrace Are they second-hand embarrassed
That I can't get out of bed?
Cause something counterfeit's dead It was legendary
It was momentary It was unnecessary
Should've let it stay buried
Oh, what a valiant roar What a bland goodbye
The coward claimed he was a lion I'm combing through the braids of lies
"I'll never leave" ... "Never mind"
Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire Your arson's match your somber eyes And I'll still see it until I die
You're the loss of my life
I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART
I can read your mind "She's having the time of her life"
There in her glittering prime
The lights refract sequined stars off her silhouette every night I can show you lies (one, two, three, four)
'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit
They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did Lights, camera, bitch smile, even when you wanna die
He said he'd love me all his life But that life was too short Breaking down, I hit the floor
All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, "More"
I was grinning like I'm winning, I was hitting my marks 'Cause I can do it with a broken heart (one, two, three, four)
I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day I'm so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague
I cry a lot but I am so productive, it's an art You know you're good when you can even do it
With a broken heart
I can hold my breath
I've been doing it since he left
I keep finding his things in drawers Crucial evidence, I didn't imagine the whole thing I'm sure I can pass this test (one, two, three, four)
'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit
They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did Lights, camera, bitch smile, in stilettos for miles
He said he'd love me for all time But that time was quite short Breaking down, I hit the floor
All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, "More" I was grinning like I'm winning, I was hitting my marks 'Cause I can do it with a broken heart (one, two, three)
I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day
I'm so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague (he avoids me) I cry a lot but I am so productive, it's an art
You know you're good when you can even do it With a broken heart
You know you're good when you can even do it With a broken heart
You know you're good, I'm good 'Cause I'm miserable
And nobody even knows
THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED
Was any of it true?
Gazing at me starry-eyed In your Jehovah's Witness suit Who the fuck was that guy?
You tried to buy some pills From a friend of friends of mine They just ghosted you
Now you know what it feels like

And I don't even want you back, I just want to know If rusting my sparkling summer was the goal
And I don't miss what we had, but could someone give A message to the smallest man who ever lived?

You hung me on your wall Stabbed me with your push pins In public, showed me off
Then sank in stoned oblivion 'Cause once your queen had come You treat her like an also-ran
You didn't measure up In any measure of a man

And I don't even want you back, I just want to know If rusting my sparkling summer was the goal
And I don't miss what we had, but could someone give A message to the smallest man who ever lived?

Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead? Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?
Were you writing a book? Were you a sleeper cell spy?
In fifty years, will all this be declassified?
And you'll confess why you did it And I'll say, "Good riddance"
'Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden I would've died for your sins
Instead, I just died inside
And you deserve prison, but you won't get time You'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars You crashed my party and your rental car
You said normal girls were boring But you were gone by the morning You kicked out the stage lights But you're still performing

And in plain sight you hid But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive The smallest man who ever lived
THE ALCHEMY
This happens once every few lifetimes These chemicals hit me like white wine
What if I told you I'm back? The hospital was a drag Worst sleep that I ever had I circled you on a map
I haven't come around in so long But I'm coming back so strong
So when I touch down Call the amateurs and Cut 'em from the team
Ditch the clowns, get the crown Baby I'm the one to beat
Cause the sign on your heart Said it's still reserved for me
Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?
Hey you, what if I told you we're cool?
That child's play back in school Is forgiven under my rule
I haven't come around in so long
But I'm making a comeback to where I belong ...
So when I touch down Call the amateurs and Cut 'em from the team
Ditch the clowns, get the crown Baby I'm the one to beat
Cause the sign on your heart Said it's still reserved for me
Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?
These blokes warm the benches We been on a winning streak
He jokes that it's heroin but this time with an "E" Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me
Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?
Shirts off, and your friends lift you up over their heads Beer sticking to the floor
Cheers chanted, cause they said There was no chance, trying to be The greatest in the league Where's the trophy?
He just comes running over to me
ouch down
Call the amateurs and Cut 'em from the team
Ditch the clowns, get the crown Baby I'm the one to beat
Cause the sign on your heart Said it's still reserved for me
Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?
These blokes warm the benches We been on a winning streak
He jokes that it's heroin but this time with an "E" Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me
Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy? This happens once every few lifetimes
CLARA BOW
"You look like Clara Bow in this light Remarkable
All your life, did you know You'd be picked like a rose"

"I'm not trying to exaggerate But I think I might die if it happened
Die if it happened to me
No one in my small town thought I'd see the lights of Manhattan"

"This town is fake but You're the real thing
Breath of fresh air through smoke rings Take the glory, give everything Promise to be dazzling"

"You look like Stevie Nicks In '75, the hair and lips
Crowd goes wild at her fingertips Half moonshine, a full eclipse" "I'm not trying to exaggerate
But I think I might die if I made it, Die if I made it
No one in my small town Thought I'd meet these suits in LA,
They all want to say ..."

"This town is fake but You're the real thing
Breath of fresh air through smoke rings Take the glory, give everything Promise to be dazzling"

"The crown is stained but you're the real queen Flesh and blood amongst war machines You're the new god we're worshipping
Promise to be ... dazzling"

Beauty is a beast that roars Down on all fours Demanding "more"
Only when your girlish glow Flickers just so
Do they let you know
It's hell on earth to be heavenly Them's the breaks
They don't come gently

"You look like Taylor Swift In this light
We're loving it.
You've got edge she never did The future's bright

... Dazzling."
THE BLACK DOG
I am someone who, until recent events You shared your secrets with
And your location You forgot to turn it off
And so I watch as you walk Into some bar called The Black Dog And pierce new holes in my heart
You forgot to turn it off And it hits me
I just don't understand

How you don't miss me In The Black Dog
When someone plays The Starting Line and you jump up But she's too young to know this song
That was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming Old habits die screaming

I move through the world with the heartbroken My longings stay unspoken
And I may never open up the way I did for you And all of those best laid plans
You said I needed a brave man Then proceeded to play him Until I believed it too
And it kills me
I just don't understand

How you don't miss me In the shower
And remember
How my rain-soaked body was shaking Do you hate me?
Was it hazing?
For a cruel fraternity I pledged And I still mean it
Old habits die screaming

Six weeks of breathing clean air I still miss the smoke
Were you making fun of me with some esoteric joke? Now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes And hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons
Even if I die screaming And I hope you hear it

And I hope it's shitty In The Black Dog
When someone plays The Starting Line and you jump up But she's too young to know this song
That was intertwined in the tragic fabric of our dreaming 'Cause tail between your legs, you're leaving
I still can't believe it 'Cause old habits die screaming
IMGONNAGETYOUBACK
Lilac short skirt
The one that fits me like skin Did your research
You knew the price goin' in
And I'll tell you one thing, honey
I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean Standing at the bar like something's funny, bubbly Once you fix your face, I'm goin' in
Whether I'm gonna be your wife or Gonna smash up your bike, I Haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back
Whether I'm gonna curse you out or Take you back to my house, I Haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back
I, I hear the whispers in your eyes I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine You're mine
Small talk, big love
Act like I don't care what you did I'm an Aston Martin
That you steered straight into the ditch Then ran and hid
And I'll tell you one thing, honey
I can take the upper hand and touch your body Flip the script and leave you like a dumb house party
Or I might just love you 'til the end
Whether I'm gonna be your wife or Gonna smash up your bike, I Haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back
Whether I'm gonna flip you off or Pull you into the closet
I haven't decided yet But I'm gonna get you back
I, I hear the whispers in your eyes I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine You're mine
I can feel it comin', hummin' in the way you move Push the reset button, we're becoming something new
Say you got somebody, I'll say, "I got someone too" Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leaving here with you
Bygones will be bygone eras fadin' into gray (fadin' into gray) We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game (oh) Told my friends, "I hate you but I love you just the same"
Pick your poison, babe I'm poison either way
Whether I'm gonna be your wife or Gonna smash up your bike, I Haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back
Whether I'm gonna curse you out or Take you back to my house, I Haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back
I, I hear the whispers in your eyes I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine
THE ALBATROSS
Wise men once said
"Wild winds are death to the candle" A rose by any other name is a scandal Cautions issued, he stood
Shooting the messengers They tried to warn him about her
Cross your thoughtless heart Only liquor anoints you She's the albatross
She is here to destroy you
Wise men once said
"One bad seed kills the garden" "One less temptress
One less dagger to sharpen" Locked me up in towers
But I'd visit in your dreams
And they tried to warn you about me
Cross your thoughtless heart Only liquor anoints you She's the albatross
She is here to destroy you Devils that you know
Raise worse hell than a stranger She's the death you chose You're in terrible danger
And when that sky rains fire on you And you're persona non grata
I'll tell you how I've been there too And that none of it matters
Wise men once read fake news And they believed it
Jackals raised their hackles You couldn't conceive it You were sleeping soundly
When they dragged you from your bed And I tried to warn you about them
So I crossed my thoughtless heart Spread my wings like a parachute I'm the albatross
I swept in at the rescue The devil that you know
Looks now more like an angel I'm the life you chose
And all this terrible danger
So cross your thoughtless heart She's the albatross
She is here to destroy you
CHLOE OR SAM OR SOPHIA OR MARCUS
Your hologram stumbled into my apartment
Hands in the hair of somebody in darkness named Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
And I just watched it happen
As the decade would play us for fools
And you saw my bones out with somebody new Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school And you just watched it happen

If you want to break my cold, cold heart Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were' If you want to tear my world apart
Just say you've always wondered

You said some things that I can't unabsorb You turned me into an idea of sorts
You needed me but you needed drugs more And I couldn't watch it happen
I changed into goddesses, villains and fools Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules All to outrun my desertion of you
And you just watched it

If you want to break my cold, cold heart Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were' If you want to tear my world apart
Just say you've always wondered

If the glint in my eye traced the depths of your sigh Down that passage in time
Back to the moment I crashed into you Like so many wrecks do
Too impaired by my youth To know what to do

So if I sell my apartment
And you have some kids with an internet starlet
Will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon like it never happened

Could it be enough to just float in your orbit
Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses Cooler in theory but not if you force it
To be, it just didn't happen
So if you want to break my cold, cold heart Say you loved me
And if you want to tear my world apart Say you'll always wonder

Cause I wonder Will I always
Will I always wonder?
HOW DID IT END?
We hereby conduct this post-mortem
He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsmen Our maladies were such we could not cure them
And so a touch that was my birthright became foreign

Come one, come all It's happenin' again
The empathetic hunger descends We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends We must know How did it end?
(Uh-oh) (Uh-oh-oh-oh)

We were blind to unforeseen circumstances We learn the right steps to different dances (ohh)
And fell victim to interlopers' glances
Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?
Soon they'll go home to their husbands Smug 'cause they know they can trust him Then feverishly calling their cousins (ohh)

Guess who we ran into at the shops? Walking in circles like she was lost Didn't you hear?
They called it all off One gasp and then How did it end?

Say it once again with feeling How the death rattle breathing Silenced as the soul was leaving The deflation of our dreaming Leaving me bereft and reeling My beloved ghost and me Sitting in a tree
D-Y-I-N-G

It's happenin' again How did it end?
I can't pretend like I understand How did it end?

Come one, come all It's happening again
The empathetic hunger descends We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends But I still don't know How did it end?
SO HIGH SCHOOL
I feel so high school every time I look at you
I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you
And in a blink of a crinkling eye I'm sinking, our fingers entwined Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights
Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me I'll drink what you think, and I'm high From smoking your jokes all damn night The brink of a wrinkle in time Bittersweet sixteen suddenly
I'm watching American Pie with you on a Saturday night Your friends are around, so be quiet
I'm trying to stifle my sighs
'Cause I feel so high school every time I look at you But look at you
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me? (Kill me) It's just a game, but really (really)
I'm bettin' on all three for us two (all three) Get my car door, isn't that sweet? (That sweet) Then pull me to the backseat (backseat)
No one's ever had me (had me), not like you
Truth, dare, spin bottles
You know how to ball, I know Aristotle Brand new, full-throttle
Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto It's true, swear, scouts honor
You knew what you wanted and boy, you got her Brand new, full-throttle
You already know, babe
I feel like laughing in the middle of practice Do that impression you did of your dad again I'm hearing voices like a madman
And in a blink of a crinkling eye I'm sinking, our fingers entwined Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights
Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me I'll drink what you think, and I'm high From smoking your jokes all damn night The brink of a wrinkle in time Bittersweet sixteen suddenly
I'm watching American Pie with you on a Saturday night Your friends are around, so be quiet
I'm trying to stifle my sighs
'Cause I feel so high school (I feel so high school) Every time I look at you
But look at you
Truth, dare, spin bottles (yeah) You know how to ball, I know Aristotle
Brand new, full-throttle (yeah)
Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto It's true, swear, scouts honor (yeah)
You knew what you wanted and boy, you got her Brand new, full-throttle (yeah)
You already know, babe You already know, babe
I HATE IT HERE
Quick, quick
Tell me something awful
Like you are a poet trapped inside the body of a finance guy Tell me all your secrets
All you'll ever be is
My eternal consolation prize
You see I was a debutant in another life but Now I seem to be scared to go outside
If comfort is a construct
I don't believe in good luck Now that I know what's what
I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind People need a key to get to The only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child No mid-sized city hopes and small town fears
I'm there most of the year Cause I hate it here
I hate it here
My friends used to play a game where We would pick a decade
We wished we could live in instead of this
I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists and getting married off for the highest bid

Everyone would look down Cause it wasn't fun now
Seems like it was never even fun back then Nostalgia is a mind's trick
If I'd been there, I'd hate it It was freezing in the palace
I hate it here so I will go to Lunar valleys in my mind
When they found a better planet Only the gentle survived
I dreamed about it in the dark The night I felt like I might die
No mid-sized city hopes and small town fears I'm there most of the year
Cause I hate it here I hate it here
I'm lonely but I'm good I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine
I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on purpose
This place made me feel worthless
Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me, and in my fantasies I rise above it
And way up there, I actually love it
I hate it here so I will go to Secret gardens in my mind People need a key to get to The only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child No mid-sized city hopes and small town fears
I'm there most of the year Cause I hate it here
I hate it here Quick quick
Tell me something awful
THANK YOU AIMEE
When I picture my hometown There's a bronze spray-tanned statue of you
And a plaque underneath it
That threatens to push me down the stairs at our school

And it was always the same searing pain But I dreamed that one day, I could say

All that time you were throwing punches I was building something
And I can't forgive the way you made me feel Screamed, "Fuck you, Aimee" to the night sky As the blood was gushing
But I can't forget the way you made me heal

And it wasn't a fair fight, or a clean kill Each time that Aimee stomped across my grave And then she wrote headlines in the local paper
Laughing at each baby step I'd take

And it was always the same searing pain But I prayed that one day, I could say

All that time you were throwing punches I was building something
And I couldn't wait to show you it was real Screamed, "Fuck you, Aimee" to the night sky As the blood was gushing
But I can't forget the way you made me heal

Everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman But she used to say she wished that you were dead I pushed each boulder up the hill
Your words are still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head

I wrote a thousand songs that you find uncool I built a legacy that you can't undo
But when I count the scars, there's a moment of truth That there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you

And maybe you've reframed it
And in your mind, you never beat my spirit black and blue I don't think you've changed much
And so I changed your name and any real defining clues And one day, your kid comes home singing
A song that only us two is gonna know is about you 'cause

All that time you were throwing punches It was all for nothing
And our town, it looks so small from way up here Screamed, "Thank you, Aimee" to the night sky And the stars are stunning
'Cause I can't forget the way you made me heal Everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman But she used to say she wished that you were dead So I pushed each boulder up that hill
Your words were still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head

Thank you, Aimee Thank you, Aimee
I LOOK IN PEOPLE’S WINDOWS
I had died the tiniest death
I spied the catch in your breath Out, out, out, out, out, out North bound I got carried away As you boarded your train
South, south, south, south, south, south A feather taken by the wind blowing I'm afflicted by the not knowing so

I look in people's windows Transfixed by rose golden glows
They have their friends over to drink nice wine I look in people's windows
In case you're at their table
What if your eyes looked up and met mine One more time

You had stopped and tilted your head I still ponder what it meant now, now Now, now, now, now
I tried searching faces on streets What are the chances you'd be downtown
Downtown, downtown
Does it feel alright to not know me?
I'm addicted to the 'if only'

So I look in people's windows Like I'm some deranged weirdo
I attend Christmas parties from outside I look in people's windows
In case you're at their table
What if your eyes looked up and met mine One more time
THE PROPHECY
Hand on the throttle Thought I caught lightning in a bottle
Oh, but it's gone again And it was written
I got cursed like Eve got bitten Oh, was it punishment?
Pad around when I get home
I guess a lesser woman would've lost hope A greater woman wouldn't beg
But I looked to the sky and said
lease
I've been on my knees Change the prophecy Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to About if they can redo The prophecy?
Cards on the table
Mine play out like fools in a fable, oh It was sinking in
Slow is the quicksand
Poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand Oh, still I dream of him
Please
I've been on my knees Change the prophecy Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to About if they can redo The prophecy?
And I sound like an infant
Feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen A greater woman stays cool
But I howl like a wolf at the moon And I look unstable
Gathered with a coven round a sorceress' table A greater woman has faith
But even statues crumble if they're made to wait I'm so afraid I sealed my fate
No sign of soulmates I'm just a paperweight In shades of greige
Spending my last coin so someone will tell me It'll be ok
Please
I've been on my knees Change the prophecy Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to About if they can redo The prophecy?
Who do I have to speak to To change the prophecy?
Hand on the throttle
Thought I caught lightning in a bottle, oh But it's gone again
Pad around when I get home
I guess a lesser woman would've lost hope A greater woman wouldn't beg
But I looked to the sky and said Please
CASSANDRA
I was in my new house placing daydreams Patching up the crack along the wall
I pass it and lose track of what I'm saying 'Cause that's where I was when I got the call

When the first stone's thrown, there's screaming In the streets, there's a raging riot
When it's "Burn the bitch, " they're shrieking When the truth comes out, it's quiet

So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst And tried to tell the town
So, they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say Do you believe me now?

I was in my tower weaving nightmares Twisting all my smiles into snarls
They say, "What doesn't kill you makes you aware" What happens if it becomes who you are?

So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst And tried to tell the town
So, they set my life in flames, I regret to say Do you believe me now?

They knew, they knew, they knew the whole time That I was onto something
The family, the pure greed, the Christian chorus line They all said nothing
Blood's thick but nothing like a payroll Bet they never spared a prayer for my soul You can mark my words that I said it first
In a morning warning, no one heard

I patched up the crack along the wall
I pass it and lose track of what I'm saying 'Cause that's where I was when I lost it all

So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst And tried to tell the town
So, they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say Do you believe me now?

Ahh-ahh
I was onto something Ahh-ahh
They all said nothing

Blood's thick but nothing like a payroll Bet they never spared a prayer for my soul You can mark my words that I said it first
In a morning warning, no one heard No one heard
Not a single word was heard

When the first stone's thrown, there's screaming In the streets, there's a raging riot
When it's "Burn the bitch, " they're shrieking When the truth comes out, it's quiet
It's so quiet
PETER
Forgive me Peter My lost fearless leader
In closets like cedar Preserved from when we were just kids
Is it something I did The goddess of timing Once found us beguiling She said she was trying
Peter was she lying
My ribs get the feeling she did And I didn't want to come down
I thought it was just goodbye for now
You said you were gonna grow up Then you were gonna come find me You said you were gonna grow up Then you were gonna come find me Said you were gonna grow up
Then you were gonna come find me Words from the mouths of babes promises, oceans deep
But never to keep Oh, never to keep
Are you still a mind reader? A natural scene stealer
I've heard great things Peter But life was always easier on you
Than it was on me And sometimes it gets me
When crossing your jet stream
We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon In different galaxies
And I didn't want to hang around We said it was just goodbye for now
You said you were gonna grow up Then you were gonna come find me You said you were gonna grow up Then you were gonna come find me Said you were gonna grow up
Then you were gonna come find me Words from the mouths of babes promises, oceans deep
But never to keep Oh, never to keep
And I won't confess that I waited But I let the lamp burn
As the men masqueraded I hoped you'd return
With your feet on the ground Tell me all that you'd learned
Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned And you said you'd come and get me but you were 25 And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired
Lost to the lost boys chapter of your life Forgive me Peter, please know that I tried To hold onto the days when you were mine
But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light

You said you were gonna grow up Then you were gonna come find me You said you were gonna grow up You said you were gonna grow up Then you were gonna come find me Said you were gonna grow up
You said you were gonna grow up Then you were gonna come find me Said you were gonna grow up
Then you were gonna come find me
28You said you were gonna grow up Then you were gonna come find me Words from the mouths of babes promises, oceans deep
But never to keep
THE BOLTER
By all accounts, she almost drowned When she was six in frigid water And I can confirm she made
A curious child, ever reviled
By everyone except her own father With a quite bewitching face Splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless Excellent fun 'til you get to know her Then she runs like it's a race
Behind her back, her best mates laughed And they nicknamed her "The Bolter"
Started with a kiss
"Oh, we must stop meeting like this"
But it always ends up with a Town Car speeding Out the drive one evening
Ended with the slam of a door Then he'll call her a whore Wish he wouldn't be sore
But as she was leaving It felt like breathing
All her fuckin' lives Flashed before her eyes It feels like the time She fell through the ice Then came out alive
He was a cad, wanted her bad Just like any good trophy hunter And she likes the way it tastes Taming a bear, making him care
Watching him jump then pulling him under And at first blush, this is fate
When it's all roses, portrait poses Central Park Lake in tiny rowboats What a charming Saturday
That's when she sees the littlest leaks Down in the floorboards
And she just knows She must bolt
Started with a kiss
"Oh, we must stop meeting like this"
But it always ends up with a Town Car speeding Out the drive one evening
Ended with the slam of a door Then he'll call her a whore Wish he wouldn't be sore
But as she was leaving It felt like breathing All her fuckin' lives
Flashed before her eyes It feels like the time She fell through the ice Then came out alive
She's been many places with Men of many faces
First, they're off to the races And she's laughing drawin' aces But, none of it is changin'
That the chariot is waitin' Hearts are hers for the breakin' There's an escape in escaping
Started with a kiss
"Oh, we must stop meeting like this"
But it always ends up with a Town Car speeding Out the drive one evening
Ended with the slam of a door But she's got the best stories You can be sure
That as she was leaving It felt like freedom
All her fuckin' lives Flashed before her eyes (And she realized)
It feels like the time She fell through the ice Then came out alive
ROBIN
Long may you reign You're an animal You are bloodthirsty
Out window panes talking utter nonsense You have no idea
Strings tied to levers, slowed down clocks tethered,
all this showmanship To keep it, for you,
In sweetness Way to go tiger Higher and higher Wilder and lighter For you
Long may you roar At your dinosaurs You're a just ruler
Covered in mud, you look ridiculous And you have no idea

Buried down deep and out of your reach, the secret we all vowed to keep it, from you,
In sweetness Way to go tiger Higher and higher Wilder and lighter For you

You got the dragonflies above your bed You have a favorite spot on the swing set
You have no room in your dreams for regrets You have no idea

The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean You'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline
But now we'll curtail your curiosity In sweetness
Way to go, Tiger Higher and higher Wilder and lighter For you

30
THE MANUSCRIPT
Now and then she rereads the manuscript Of the entire torrid affair
They compared their licenses He said, "I'm not a donor but
I'd give you my heart if you needed it"
She rolled her eyes and said "You're a professional"
He said, "No, just a good samaritan"
He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was Soon they'd be pushin' strollers
But soon it was over

In the age of him, she wished she was thirty And made coffee every morning in a French press
Afterwards she only ate kids' cereal
And couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed Then she dated boys who were her own age With dart boards on the backs of their doors
She thought about how he said since she was so wise beyond her years Everything had been above board
She wasn't sure

And the years passed Like scenes of a show
The Professor said to write what you know Lookin' backwards
Might be the only way to move forward Then the actors
Were hitting their marks And the slow dance
Was alight with the sparks And the tears fell
In synchronicity with the score And at last
She knew what the agony had been for The only thing that's left is the manuscript

One last souvenir from my trip to your shores Now and then I reread the manuscript
But the story isn't mine anymore
g It felt like breathing All her fuckin' lives
F
l
n
gin' That the chariot is waitin' Hearts are hers for the breakin' There's an escape in escaping Started with a kiss

vin
g It felt like freedom All her fuckin' lives
F
Long may you reign
You're an animal
You are bloodthirsty
Out window panes talking utter nonsense
You have no idea
Strings tied to levers,
slowed down clocks tethered,
all this showmanship
To keep it, for you,
In sweetness
Way to go tiger
Higher and higher
Wilder and lighter
For you
Long may you roar
At your dinosaurs
You're a just ruler
Covered in mud, you look ridiculous
And you have no idea
Buried down deep and out of your reach, the
secret we all vowed to keep it, from you,
In sweetness
Way to go tiger
Higher and higher
Wilder and lighter
For you
You got the dragonflies above your bed
You have a favorite spot on the swing set
You have no room in your dreams for regrets
You have no idea
The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean
You'll learn to bounce back just like your
trampoline
But now we'll curtail your curiosity
In sweetness
Way to go, Tiger
Higher and higher
Wilder and lighter
For you
Now and then she rereads the manuscript
Of the entire torrid affair
They compared their licenses
He said, "I'm not a donor but
I'd give you my heart if you needed it"
She rolled her eyes and said
"You're a professional"
He said, "No, just a good samaritan"
He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was
Soon they'd be pushin' strollers
But soon it was over
In the age of him, she wished she was thirty
And made coffee every morning in a French press
Afterwards she only ate kids' cereal
And couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed
Then she dated boys who were her own age
With dart boards on the backs of their doors
She thought about how he said since she was so wise beyond her years
Everything had been above board
She wasn't sure
And the years passed
Like scenes of a show
The Professor said to write what you know
Lookin' backwards
Might be the only way to move forward
Then the actors
Were hitting their marks
And the slow dance
Was alight with the sparks
And the tears fell
In synchronicity with the score
And at last
She knew what the agony had been for
The only thing that's left is the manuscript
One last souvenir from my trip to your shores
Now and then I reread the manuscript
But the story isn't mine anymore
THE MANUSCRIPT
31e