Gilmore Girls S05E03 'Written in the Stars'

We need to talk about the absurdity that is the separation of Emily and Richard. Why? Just whyyyy? I mean, come on, they were the staple of old-school love and sass. Now Lorelai and Rory have to deal with the mess by hopping between the pool house and the main house on Friday nights.

But wait, it gets better. The writers missed a golden opportunity. Picture this: Emily strutting her stuff with a some dude while Richard throws his temper tantrums. Like, come on! Instead, we are served passive-aggressive dinners that could chill the bones of a polar bear.

Now let's talk about Rory. Oh, Rory, what happened to you? You used to be the adorkable bookworm, but now you're channeling some serious Richard vibes. Yes, Richard – who, I must admit, kinda sucks. She’s become this entitled, snobby, and downright arrogant sophomore at Yale. I mean, seriously, who does she think she is? Walking around like the queen of Sheba, mistreating the common folk, and acting all high and mighty with Logan. By the way, Logan’s “master and commander” shtick doesn’t help either. I must confess, seeing Rory like this makes me have an ounce of empathy for Logan. That’s saying something.

Meanwhile, Marty’s still pining for Rory, and her bizarre spiral after Asher’s wake lands her at Dean’s doorstep. Rory, honey, ever heard of self-reflection?

Alright folks, let’s take a deep dive into the quirky, caffeinated universe of Gilmore Girls with a twist of Shakespearean poetry, because why not? This time, we’re talking about that memorable wake scene – a classic combination of drama, humor, and a pinch of the existential, that could only take place in Stars Hollow. So, grab your most oversized coffee mug, and let's get into it.

In the vortex that is Gilmore Girls, Paris Geller, our very own overachiever, is often the one dishing out neurotic wisdom and perfectionist madness. This time around, she’s going through something real – the death of her older boyfriend, Asher Fleming.

Let’s set the scene: Paris is in shock, and so is Rory when she learns of Asher’s death. Rory, the golden-hearted protagonist, agrees to help Paris organize a wake for Asher. But, in typical Gilmore Girls fashion, their conversation takes an unconventional turn.

Paris: Asher's dead.
Rory: What?
Paris: He died two weeks ago in Oxford.
Rory: Oh. Paris, I'm sorry. How?
Paris: Heart attack. It was quick.
Rory: Heart attack?
Paris: Yes.
Rory: Um ... it wasn't during, um ... was it?
Paris: No, Rory. This great man was not brought down by my vagina, okay?

This exchange, though laced with humor, highlights the quintessential Gilmore Girls wit, and sets the stage for something more profound. Paris mentions Asher was teaching Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” before his heart attack.

I mean, think about it. “Into the world via vagina, out of the world via vagina” – there’s a touch of the poetic circle of life in that, right? The play, “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” is quintessentially about love, chaos, transformations, and the cycle of life. In some bizarre, quirky way, doesn’t that resonate with what Paris is going through?

Lorelai and Luke

Now, for the silver lining in this cloud – enter the adorable love saga of Lorelai and Luke. If you’re a Gilmore fan, you know you’ve been waiting for this since Season 1. Lorelai, in her usual quirky and crazy way, finally leans into love and Luke – bless his heteronormative, plaid-wearing soul – steps up to the plate. Their first date at Sniffy’s Tavern, owned by Buddy and Maisy (Luke’s surrogate parents), is awkward and adorable in equal measure.

But, hold the phone, because what follows is the stuff of rom-com dreams. Lorelai asks Luke about the first time they met and boom, Luke, like a lovestruck teenager, pulls out the horoscope she gave him on that very day from his wallet. That moment right there – pure, unadulterated, batshit crazy love! Luke’s had the hots for Lorelai since day one. We, the viewers, can collectively sigh and say “about freaking time.”

Post-Dinner Shenanigans

Cue the cute post-dinner shenanigans, where Luke and Lorelai probably created some magic on his flannel sheets. They talk about music (Luke's tastes, btw, weirdly hilarious and endearing), and of course, David Lynch's connection via the band Sparks. Yes, ASP (Amy Sherman-Palladino) you sly dog, nice one. And can we talk about how cool that is for Lynch fans?

But wait, what’s a love story in Stars Hollow without a little drama? The next morning, Lorelai in her caffeine-deprived state parades through Luke's diner, in one of his flannels, no pants. The townsfolk? Stunned. The secret is out!

This revelation leads to the most bonkers town meeting, where Taylor, the omnipresent, obnoxious town busybody, holds a vote on whether Luke and Lorelai should be allowed to continue seeing each other. I can’t even. At this point, I think we can all agree that Taylor is the character we love to hate.

Luke, in a gesture of true love and defiance, declares he’ll leave Stars Hollow if they can’t be together. Now, that is commitment. I thought Lorelai would bolt but she is in it to win it.